I’m writing a thing that describes my relationship with conducting as a long term love affair, and I will NOT be including a section that goes:
It was in grad school that I discovered Conducting was into dudes.
I looked at Conducting’s “Little Black Book” and it was chock-a-block with men’s names!
“Conducting!” I gasped, “You never told me you were into dudes!”
“Well,” Conducting replied, “you seemed to be taking me really seriously, and there just never seemed to be an appropriate time to let you down easy.”
“B-but…” I stammered, “I love you, and I thought you loved me, too!”
“Oh, I do love you,” Conducting replied. “I’ve even been with other women before… but… you know. Dudes are just kinda my thing.”
No, I’m definitely not writing that.